Here we have listed humorous quotes, best humorous quotes, humorous quotes on life, humorous quotes about life in this article. We have provided full lists of inspirational quotes about life to provide you happy life. in this article you will get all famous quotes on life as well as best life quotes on life. Latest updated humorous quotes of 2017 we have listed.
Humorous Quotes on Life
All generalizations are bad. ~R.H. Grenier
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t. ~Author Unknown
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe, performed by Lily Tomlin
If you teach your children nothing else, teach them the Golden Rule and “righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.” ~Robert Brault,
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ~Elayne Boosler
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ~H.L. Mencken
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. ~Author Unknown
It takes so little to make a stranger’s day, and even less to totally ruin it. ~Demetri Martin
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. ~John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went
The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away. ~Tom Waits, Small Change
Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. ~Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield
After all, what is your host’s purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. ~P.J. O’Rourke
Inspirational Quotes About Life – Inspirational Humorous Quotes 2017
How come there’s only one Monopolies Commission? ~Nigel Rees
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~George Ade
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. ~Nicholas Chamfort
An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ~William Castle
Read more One Line quotes on Life
If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me. ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet
Man was predestined to have free will. ~Hal Lee Luyah
He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed. ~Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981
He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs. ~Torvald Gahlin
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Humorous Life Quotes for your Inspirational Life
Today is the last day of some of your life. ~Author Unknown
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. ~Robert Graves
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t. ~Douglas Adams
Read more Unique Life Quotes
Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. ~Aldous Huxley
Murphy was an optimist. ~O’Toole’s Commentary
Without geography, you’re nowhere. ~Author Unknown
It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. ~Author Unknown
You can’t have everything… where would you put it? ~Steven Wright
Quotes on Life – ( Humorous Quotes on life )
I was born to live, not please everyone.
And they lived happily and often ever after.
Nothing poisons life more than potassium cyanide.
Take everything from life. Just remember where you took it from.
We only live once. I couldn’t bare a second time.
1/7 of our lives are Mondays.
Living is good. But I’d prefer to live good somewhere else.
Nerve cells are born and die, and fat cells – live forever!
The longer the diagnosis, the shorter is the life left to live.
If a person really wants to live, the medicine is helpless.
Live as someone has left an open gate for you.
Life is short. Have a bit of patience…
Humorous Quotes & Life Sayings
Value the time! It’s the substance that life is made of.
If you didn’t manage to make your life great, it means life did you.
‘How’s your health?’ ‘It’s enough for life!’
Life always turns out not as you want but as it should be.
Death takes away the best people. It means that I will live long and long.
It would be nice to live as everyone else, but my conscience wouldn’t let me.
Anniversary is when there are lots of flowers and you are still alive.
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